its real

November 5, 2007
a total waste of time
not wanting it to be
hoping she was dreaming
knowing thats not so
what happened was real
so real
the most intense
she can still feel his touch
her touching him
the greatest feeling
was feeling so guilty
she is questioning
herself and life
betrayal, deception, and lies
all a lie
a secret
like a pigment of her imagination
flies away like a dove
soaring higher
laughing to cover up the lies
crying to smother the hurt and pain
guilt and shame
tears not yet cried
words not yet spoken
never to be
the cuts are deep
the tears are wet
and the heart beats broken
she closes her eyes
speaks the words to herself
sobbing, screaming
asking for help for forgiveness
a dream turned real
how she feels
not spoken
not dreamed
its real

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