A Moment of Weakness

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The wind whips my hair around my face
I stand still as stone
My mind is blank as a slate
The wind lets out a low moan

I can taste the salt from the ocean
The pitch black sky is littered with stars
I'm lost in my mind, I can't hear a thing
Not even the sound of passing cars

The sea's the darkest I've ever seen
Lit up with the reflection of the moon
I begin to think of the past few days
Wrapping my blanket tighter around me like a cocoon

Regret claws at me like a beast at my heart
I can feel the burning tears sting my eyes
But there is no point in holding it in any longer
Putting off the inevitable goodbyes

Cold rain begins to pound on my head
My body begins to shake
But I know I'm not quivering from the icy cold
There's something else entirely that's making me quake

My tears are hidden by the powerful rain
Not that there's anyone who will see
I stand here alone, hurt, and confused
While everyone continues to leave me

They say that a house is not a home
And I think mines been gone for a while
My house is dark, empty, and cold
The people in it have now become vile

"You need to grow up," I say to myself
"There are people who have it worse than you"
I wipe the tears mixed with rain off my face
"But I'm not really sure if they do."

The storm begins to lighten up
Slowly over the next hour
I dry my eyes and walk back towards my house
Which has become my Rapunzel's tower

I slowly force myself up the front steps
And touch the handle on the door
A burning sensation tingles my hand
A pain attacks my hallow core

I sprint up the stairs to the bathroom
Turn the hot water on in the bath
I climb into the scalding heat
To wash away my decisions' wrath

I lean my head back and try to relax
To forget all of the mistakes I've made
But hard as I try, try as I might
The memories are too stubborn to fade

So as I lay here in my bath of emotion
I begin to let the pain win
It's my fault I'm alone, scared, and lost
Not my father's downstairs with his gin

Nor is it my mother's who disappeared so long ago
Or my brother's who left as soon as he could
It certianly isn't anyone's but my own
Keeping myself from any possible good

But that is the way it has always been
Not allowing anyone inside
For if I do I could hurt them too
Even if I just try to confide

But most of all I could just hurt even more
Be swallowed up by the pain
So it is best to stay inside my mind
I'm protecting myself, not being vain

It is at this thought that I pull myself together
This is who I am
Just a temporary moment of weakness
Until I resurrect my dam.





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