Water drips on my hair,
Slowly at first,
Increasingly persistent.

A steady beat,
Boom, boom, boom,
Fifty measures,
And then repeat.

I cannot move,
My bare feet are steadfast
To the cold ground,
Soaked head, frozen in place,
Red eyes, focused on the invisible object.

This must be what
Chinese water torture feels like,
But now here in this moment
Chains do not hold me down,
A burly man does not restrain me.

I am only kept here by my fears,
The fear of moving forward,
The fear of forgetting the past,
If I don’t move, I don’t have to go forward
I tell my self again.

I can stay here forever,
Stuck in this realm between realities,
In this state of peace,
This state of joy that nobody comprehends but me,

I can stay here until
The Chinese water torture drives me insane,
It must be better than the heartache,
Better than the knowledge that you have been forgotten,

It isn’t,
The persistent fifty measures of beats,
Are much, much worse,
Because they are there forever,
Never giving you a break,
A break to heal,
A break for joy,
I get up and walk from the rain,
The fifty measures
Drove me insane.