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Morning Rainbows

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There are rainbows on the walls
on my ceiling, on the floor

Little spots of color
that were never there before

Each splash is vibrant, energized;
yet so completely still

I wish I could somehow catch them
and drink of rainbows my fill



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apocalyptigirl said...
Sept. 13, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Aww! I love this! So simple and yet so poetic...:) The only thing was the last line; "and drink of rainbows my fill." The placement of "of" made it a tad awkward, though now as I say it a few times it seems to flow better each time...Good job! 5 stars :)
 
MayaElyashiv This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2010 at 7:28 am
I was very hesitant about that last line, because when I read it in my head it sounded right but when I asked people to read it aloud it didn't...it's one of those ones where there's a weird pause in the middle that if you don't know it's there it sounds really off. 
 
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