I hope you understand that I want to vanish.
I hope you understand that I am hurting and I am in pain.
I hope you understand that every single time you ask me if I am okay and I say
I am…
It’s a lie.
I hope you understand that if I outright tell you I am not okay all you can do is convince me that I am.
I hope you understand that I am mad at you…
not only you but this whole world including myself.
I hope you understand that I hide everything because I don’t want you to know.
I hope you understand that the tears you have witnessed me shed…
Is all you are going to get to be able to decipher who I am and how I truly feel.
I hope you understand that my greatest wish is to vanish.