What is worse than a love that is silent?
Than masking your feelings and keeping quiet?
Avoiding the topic and awkwardly smiling?
When your tongue is itching but your lips are defiant?

There are no spontaneous moments
No time to shout
Every move is plotted
Every action thought out

But something chains me down with fear
And in your glance I see that it's clear
Maybe these are words you don't want to hear
My whispered confession never reaches your ear

"What" you asked,
"I didn't catch what you said."
But I examine my fingernails
And shake my head

With persistant action
I pull and shove
suffocating feelings
for my first true love