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Tonight I Think the Saddest Thoughts

Tonight I think the saddest thoughts
Of the miserable hopelessness experienced
Of the sheer pain gushing through my blood
Of the emotions that are just about to flood

Unexplainable reasons of why this is felt
Yet the answers are as plain as my fingers
The knuckles which when bend the wrong way,
Hurt more than I can even bare to say

The fingernails that hurt your ears
When scratching against chalkboards
The way all of them fit so well
Enclosed deeply in his spell

The overwhelming feelings that shake
My very being on this strange night
Nothing is what it seems to be
But we're done, I guarantee

Shock that makes my skin crawl off me
Anger that makes the tears fill and overflow
Emptiness that makes my chest heave
How could I be this naïve?

I should have know this from the beginning
Love like this will not last
Love like this will only hurt
But why then with pain, did I flirt?

Tonight is the saddest of nights
The nights that will haunt me for weeks
When I lay in bed and think of what was
And just sit and say "because"

Because I couldn’t deal with things
Because he couldn't spend time with me
Because we couldn’t work things out
Because we be gave ourselves doubt

The worst part of it all
And there is a lot
Is he didn’t even want to
But he said "its best for you"


I didn’t stop this from happening to me
I sat motionless and let my heart break
Into something that will never be fixed
Into something that will always be mixed

The emotions running through my head
How I know what was, is no longer
How I know that I will weep
Until I finally fall asleep

I wish to say I will never shed
Another tear in his meaningful name
I know it is not without lie
Because this is not my goodbye





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