Answer My Question

September 1, 2007
Why me? IÕve been wondering for a long time the answer to this question. Is there something wrong with me? Should I be asking for forgiveness? or Is this just what faithÕs dice rolled for me? Can there be an answer? IÕm not sure. Am I alone? Yes, certainly not. ItÕs my fault because the doctors tell me itÕs not my fault; itÕs just the genes that make up my DNA. I havenÕt got anything to do with this anymore. After all who could blame the decision-maker? the one who has no control over what happens to her body and mind and soul. I suppose everything that happens to me is caused by the role of a dice in a game called life, but maybe IÕm wrong. The game is not very forgiving I suppose after all, it let me live. I could be scared and I could be wrong, but I donÕt think I am. IÕm brave for running far far away from there and here and IÕm the only one unafraid to fall. I ask questions with no answers and I donÕt understand what causes me to find the answers that will haunt me for the rest of my life but vanish with the wind as soon as I experience clarity ItÕs hard to hide from the world thatÕs fleeing away from me; but it doesnÕt make a difference. Things keep happening to me that make me cry and laugh at the same time. I still ask the same question and I still wonder for a long time.

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