Lies, Paint, and Glue

July 23, 2010

I lie to myself everyday, waking up saying everything will be okay.
I paint on my smile and hope it doesn't fade.
Blink away the tears before they roll down my colorless cheeks.
Stay strong for everybody else when I'm about to break down.
Wait until everybody is gone to let the tears fall.
Swallow my feelings and go to sleep, just to lie to myself the next day, and the one after that.
Maybe one day, I'll meet someone who I can tell the truth to again.
But until then, I'll have to lie and paint on my smile.
Glue together the cracks in my heart.
Stay strong and make sure nobody sees the tears.


The author's comments:
I wrote this a month and a half after my mother died. My boyfriend had also left me not to shortly after she died. He was everything I leaned on. So this was written as a mix of my feelings about losing my mother and my boyfriend.

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