My Disease

October 28, 2007
Hunger harvesting on my brain, hardly
Allowing an ounce of attention on anything
Except every edible object

Food is all I fantasize for
Beef, bananas, brownies
Calories, carbs, cravings
Constantly chewing on my conscious

However, weight weighs upon my wandering mind
Feeling so fat and flabby
Unable to wear something somewhat seductive
Without insecurity irritating every inch of skin

“You look great” “good” “gorgeous”
Compliments boosting my confidence continually
Stares from silly boys on the street
Finally feeling fulfilled, beautiful

Still, friends and family fixated on health
Constantly being pestered about a possible problem
“You look sleepy” “sick” “sullen”
“You need to eat” everyone always yells

But if I eat,
Fat will follow and clothes won’t fit
Confidence will crash and compliments will stop
And again I’ll be alone and insecure

However, hunger hangs over me
Thoughts of food fill every fiber of my being
But I will not eat, I cannot eat
And I feel sick and tired and stupid
Everyone says I’m hurting myself

I want to agree but I can’t
And everyday I’m more exhausted and ill

I know
I’m losing control
I can’t stop
I’m scared

Help me?

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