Crimson Waves

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Light was thrown off the waves, cast down by the moon
Though the light was bright, the shadow of the fort ahead laid heavily on our hearts
The colours of the flag we fought for fluttered, white stars on blue next to our brown skin and blue uniforms
The sand beneath our feet moved as we started forward, a machine with one purpose
The blasts of the cannons were quieter only then the yells of men as I watched my comrades die
Then I brought up my gun and we fired, only to have the front line fall
I fought my way up the hill, my friends and brothers my only protection from death
All around me were the slain and as I turned a new man fell on me
Blood coated his pale face and more spilled out of three wounds in his side
With a yell I forced him off me and charged, my heart thudded in my ears, in time with the pounding ocean waves
The sun rose slowly over the flying stars and bars, reflected in the glassy orbs I once used to see
Crimson waves still washed upon a blood soaked shore, having taken on the duty of my heart





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Pitiful_Anonymous said...
Aug. 3, 2010 at 10:21 am
Well written and not to gory! :) A lot of people when handling these kind of subjects go way overboard wiht violence and gore, but you did it just fine! keeep writingg :)
 
EmmaNemma replied...
Aug. 3, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Yeah, I don't like describing all the violence so I put in metephores instead.
 
A.Dreamer said...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 7:31 pm
I like where the inspiration came from! :) Very well written, good job!
 
EmmaNemma replied...
Aug. 3, 2010 at 8:17 am
Thanks! I like to understand the minds of the people in the civil war instead of just memorizing dates.
 
thepreechyteenager said...
Jul. 31, 2010 at 1:27 pm
This was a beautiful piece, I loved the last line esspecially.  It was very powerful.  The one question I have is when you say "The blasts of the cannons were quieter only then the yells of the men as I watched my comrades die" did you mean to have it be "only than the"?
 
EmmaNemma replied...
Jul. 31, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Probably, I've never been able to get then and than right.
 
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