Needles of Nothing

May 29, 2008
I can't forget you.
You keep pushing that stake
In my heart
So deep that my heart goes by pain.
Like it needs it.
Almost like a drug.
I can't forget you and when
I can't forget you I push that
Stake in my heart deeper and deeper,
Every time causing my heart to crack
A little further, making a sound like
Shattering glass.
But I have a seal
That was made by your love,
That will keep my heart in one piece.
I wish it wasn't there.
I wish that my heart would just break.
Then I wouldn't cry myself to sleep anymore,
Or have flashbacks
About you that aren't the good memories,
And,for once, maybe I can look at your picture
And not end up crying.
I want to let you go,
But I'm afraid that if I let you go then I'll forget you.
I'll forget when you were there for me,
I'll forget your love,
And maybe, if I forget you then,
you'll forget me.
I wish you were here next to me,
Helping me,
Holding me,
And giving me an encouraging word.
My enemy is the one word I fear to say
Because that stake in my heart might go all the way through.
So I keep it locked up in my mind where it is safe,
Where it will cause no one else pain,
Just me.
So you see Mom
You aren't my enemy.
My enemy isn't alive, but then again
It is very much alive in my heart.
My enemy is what took you away from my side,
from my life.

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