I wake up in the middle of the night.
i notice the tears running down my face.
it's like someone turned on the light.
i've been exposed to pure embrace.

it's like all eyes are on me.
i feel like i have to be perfect.
the night is the only time i get away.
the rest is the same day after day.

i've been fillled with so much hate.
so much anger and disgrace.
i know God didnt make me this way,
but still night is when i get away.

i can only cry at night
only when there are no lights
nobody knows but me
they think i'm filled with glee

its not that boy or anyone else.
its not even myself.
it might be a he
or even a she

but all i know is anger fills me
that he or maybe she
seems to deactivate my glee.
which makes me not me

i feel like such a monster inside
i have to make it hide
it could be from all the hate
or maybe from anger and disgrace

alli know is this isnt myself
god made me for a reason.
not to just sit on back shelf
i'm done pleasin.

i have to please myself first
god has filled me with so much thirst
i've always had hopes and dreams
now all i have to do is believe