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Lover's Death

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I can't believe this,
Oh! How much I will miss,
your smile on your face;
now your without a trace.
Why did you have to go,
through all that snow?
Maybe you'd still be alive,
if you hadn't taken that drive.
Why did you die?
Was it because of I?
Did I make you get in the car,
and go so, so far
away from me?
Why didn't I just let it be?
I did want you to go away,
but only for a few hours that day.
So that I could give you a surprise!
But since your demise,
I have it locked in my heart-
what I wanted to give you from the start.
The love of a person, uniquely me,
I was positive you would see,
how we could be together,
forever and ever.
But since you have passed away,
I will go with you, I cannot stay.




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This article has 3 comments. Post your own!

Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 10:27 pm:
Yeah, I spotted the mistake "now your without a trace" as well. But this is really good! It's great to take inspiration from your own life. I think it gives any sorts of writing a realistic and emotional feel. Great job :)
 
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CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 8:11 pm:

Great job!  My only criticism is:

'now your without a trace.'

Did you mean "Now you're gone without a trace"?

 
Shayne121 replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 3:16 pm :
yeah I have alot of editing to do with most of my work actually... I made a few mistakes that I have now corrected but I can't update what I already posted...
 
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