Lover's Death | Teen Ink

Lover's Death

June 12, 2010
By Shayna121 GOLD, Port Charlotte, Florida
Shayna121 GOLD, Port Charlotte, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.


I can't believe this,
Oh! How much I will miss,
your smile on your face;
now your without a trace.
Why did you have to go,
through all that snow?
Maybe you'd still be alive,
if you hadn't taken that drive.
Why did you die?
Was it because of I?
Did I make you get in the car,
and go so, so far
away from me?
Why didn't I just let it be?
I did want you to go away,
but only for a few hours that day.
So that I could give you a surprise!
But since your demise,
I have it locked in my heart-
what I wanted to give you from the start.
The love of a person, uniquely me,
I was positive you would see,
how we could be together,
forever and ever.
But since you have passed away,
I will go with you, I cannot stay.


The author's comments:
I was inspired to write this when my first boyfriend, Beau, moved away. I missed him alot and it seemed like he died. So, I wrote a poem about what it would really be like for a lover to die.

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This article has 3 comments.


on Jul. 15 2011 at 10:27 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

Yeah, I spotted the mistake "now your without a trace" as well. But this is really good! It's great to take inspiration from your own life. I think it gives any sorts of writing a realistic and emotional feel. Great job :)

Shayna121 GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 3:16 pm
Shayna121 GOLD, Port Charlotte, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.

yeah I have alot of editing to do with most of my work actually... I made a few mistakes that I have now corrected but I can't update what I already posted...

on Jul. 14 2011 at 8:11 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Great job!  My only criticism is:

'now your without a trace.'

Did you mean "Now you're gone without a trace"?