Losing You

June 11, 2010
By Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)


My heart aches
From the loss of you
Everyday that I'm still living
I wish that you were too.

When I look at your picture
So many memories flood back
Reminding me of you
The one person in my life I now lack.

Can't you see me grieving
From up above?
Can't you see you're hurting
Someone that you love?

You know I'm going to miss you
Every second that I breathe
The fact that you're gone
Is still hard to believe.

But I'll remember
To keep a smile on my face
Because right now I know
That you're in a better place.

The author's comments:
In memory of my grandma, 4/22/10.
First person I lost; I'll miss you & love you forever! ?

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This article has 33 comments.


on Jul. 15 2010 at 11:05 am
RedvinesWTHCantTheyDo GOLD, Zephyrhills, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You make one more comment like that I will wrap you in a tortilla shell and eat you as a snack, maybe with some nice pico de gillo."~ Lauren Lopez in Starship
"If you don't die for something, I'll kill you for nothing."~ Lauren Lopez in Starship

I reallyy lke this, and truth be told I almost started crying. i can feel the emotion and it brought back so many memories. Great job, really, it was wonderful.

on Jul. 15 2010 at 10:15 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

aww....that obviously came from the heart. good job!! a lot of true emotion came out of this too. i liked the more positive outlook in the end.. :)

and im sorry for ur loss


on Jul. 13 2010 at 7:38 pm
Minnie101 SILVER, Cleveland, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Of sad words of tongue and pen the saddest are these it might have been...

It's simple but deep. I like it. Its got a great ending. Perfects the balance of it being sad with a happy ending!

 


on Jul. 13 2010 at 6:30 pm

simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!

I like this poem. It's short and sweet and I especially loved the last stanza which is heart warming.

The only things I question are: can you lack a person? I know what you meant but... I feel like that needs a fix

Also, how did the person who died hurt someone that she loves? (second stanza) I feel like she didn't intend to hurt anyone by dying and that the speaker in this poem is missing the person who died, not accusing them and being like "I can't believe you did this to me!!!" I get the feeling the poem is more "I'm going to miss you and I'll always cherish you." and that one stanza might be out of place.


on Jul. 13 2010 at 4:04 pm
babigerl1194 PLATINUM, Margaretville, New York
23 articles 10 photos 155 comments

Favorite Quote:
wat doesnt kill you only makes you stronger

same here. Nice job. 5/5 ps plz rate my works too :P

on Jul. 13 2010 at 11:11 am
Ismellteenspiritandcandy BRONZE, Battle Creek, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hater Deleted!!" Shananay/Shane Dawson

I like how it fits so well and ryhmes lika song

Birder SILVER said...
on Jul. 13 2010 at 10:07 am
Birder SILVER, Waterboro, Maine
6 articles 22 photos 104 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, unless they do unto you first, then open a can of unto on to them."

"Obey the ninja."

"What's that? And why does it say snickle tickle?"

This is very touching, i bet your grandmother will really appreciate it. I liked the ABCB pattern, and the word choicing. It is very nice.

on Jul. 13 2010 at 9:55 am
MentalBreakDown BRONZE, Houston, Texas
3 articles 8 photos 13 comments
I feel the pain because I lost both my grandpas this past year. I am very sorry for your loss.

on Jul. 12 2010 at 8:33 pm
JustKeepRowin SILVER, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Peace begins with a smile."-Mother Teresa

Very emotional! I think it takes more talent to write these kind of poems than free verse! Job well done!

on Jul. 12 2010 at 6:01 pm
respecturself7 SILVER, Medina, New York
8 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is a natural law in life to settle.....I broke that law ~Katherine Hepburn
Love, Is the severest of mental diseases~U.K.
Spinning always spinning....when life puts me down I'll give you a call~respecturself7

Hey Dreamer, I'm sry bout ur loss something lk that is so hard to go through. I can feel the pain in this it's really sad. I think ur gram wouldve felt honored by such beautiful memorial.

on Jul. 12 2010 at 5:12 pm
Pitiful_Anonymous PLATINUM, New Cumberland, West Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and all you f***ers go beep beep beep in cheap,plastic cars. If It's to dumb to see or say you'll still sing it, and I'll just cue the applause" - Marilyn Manson

I hate to start this way but, here it goes.

THIS was great, far better than the last thing i read! you really did great iwht this one.

I have to say now, I'm sorry for oyur loss, I know what it's like to lose someone that your close to. You expressed yourself very accurately and positively. You brought tears to my eyes, and this is a feat that is very rarely accomplished.

Amazing job! Keep it up! :)


riley... GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 3:00 pm
riley... GOLD, Yakima, Washington
13 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"i became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." edgar allen poe.

so simple, yet so deep and thoughtful. it made me sad :( haha but i once heard that art is just something that evokes emotion. so goood job

Cigg.Sunn GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 11:41 am
Cigg.Sunn GOLD, Avondale, Arizona
12 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When we were yonger, we used to think dandelions were flowers, it's not until we grew up that we begun calling them flowers. Dandelions never changed. Our standards did."

Let me start off by saying, I am very sorry for your loss.

I love the rhyme in this poem, I hardly see it now a days. My favorite stanza is the second one, I think because the fact that you wrote 'when I look at youe picture, so many memories flood back, reminding me of you, the person that I now lack.' Those lines, (in my perspective) made your poem. Because to me it sounds like you are convincing yourself that it's okay to miss her, but also to remember her. Then your last line sealed the deal. 'You're in a better place.' Which to me means that you forgive her for leaving you, but will always and forever miss her.

This was an amazing and powerful write. :D



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