You know that kid Mike T.?
The one that’s such a tool,
He thinks he’s so cool.
He thinks he’s got speed
But really he can’t do the deed.
He thinks the girls all suck
But he’s the one that’s a sitting duck.
He’s so slow they all pass him
The light in his head is oh-so dim.
He can’t seem to figure it out
Why he’s such a riot.

That kid Mike Tiger,
The biggest tool I know.
He is Cindy’s greatest foe,
The one she can’t seem to control.
He’s always out on patrol,
Taking a nice jog
Through a hilly bog.

This kid Mike T.,
He doesn’t really try.
He likes to be sly
And lay on some think slack.
But I’m sharp as a tack.
When I see him slacking
I send him on packing.

You know, that kid Mike T..
I’m really tired of saying this,
But really something is amiss.
He’s such a good phony
He might be tricking old Tony.
But you know what I always say.
There will come the day.

That kid Mike T.,
He’s such a tool.
He’s so uncool,
A rare species of Toolger indeed.