To whom may concern

October 24, 2007
I love you
since the first time
since the last
so cute
so small
so precious
shes mine
is all that was going trough my head at the time
our personalities clashed
our heads butted
but for some reason
i still find myself sitting here
wishing you beside me
i hate you
you hate me
were obviously not happy
i love you
you love me
but for some reason we still aren't happy
i wish i was well
i wish you were too
i am sick of being the oddball
and i know you wish you were there too
just kidding
i know better
who would want to be the oddball
not me
not you.
so all i get to do
is sit here and think of you
no not really
im just a girl with alot of emotion
theres this thing called love
it tools with our heart
it hurts us when were together
even more than when were apart.
its hard to get rid of i must say
its been here a while
it comes to quick
and it over stays
its not welcome in my heart anymore
thats why i've turned to other things
to fill up that door
but it still keeps a knockin
just like before
and this moment
right now
i decided to let it in
be happy
and not make a sound
its confusing
i know
it doesn't make sense
its all mumbled and jumbled
the words as if they were
but no dear
for one think i know
love came a tripping
and i feel hard
in the snow
different is good
different is change
but you cant hide yourself forever
its on the inside
people still see it there
they know
no one wants to tell you
they know your scared
they know you hurt
they know you did not do this to me on purpose
you did not want anyone hurt
confused yet?
you already were
just look beyond the clothes
the hair
the smile
those eyes
every time i see them
are filled with tears
but who am i talking about
do you question
is it me directing someone
or am i answering my own question
odd ball
me too
its just the life that i have not chosen to go through
you cant choose your way
you can however
pave your own path
you see how everyone wants you and you follow
it was really your heart for a while.
to scared
to afraid
to call yourself you
you just turn your head and cry
when you think no one can see you
i see you.
those eyes
that hurt
and disgust with yourself
everyday the same
fake smile
real tears.
the dreams aren't what you want to see
you want someone beside you to distract you i see
your still scared to be you
to come out of your shell
to say hey world
f*** you.
i know you laugh to cry
and hurt at night
you sleep in hopes that you will not dream
you run to hide
i can still feel you
your heart beating inside.

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