You think you know me as you sit behind your desk and critize who you think I am . Wondering why I have an attitude all the time . But maybe you should know me when I was 9 . Miserably she runs and runs .. in fear she hides . Under the bed hoping that its safe , with the sight of ripped teddy bears and written letters never let out to the open to get help ! And you ask why I never show up to school ... her heart is drained , from all the untold lies . In her soft , cold eyes _ you can feel her pain . And now you stand in front of the class telling us about this anne frank chick and her issues . I know all about the men who come in the dark , dark night . ! Daddy no ! She yells .. but his steps becomes louder , she feels them running through her vain . Why cant she live her normal life as 9 year old ! ? Why cant she go home to a welcome family ! ? Held to herself low _ she feels a sharp wind , following it : a painful hit . Daddy stop ! and he doesnt .. crying both inside out , he feels nothing but hate . And now he has given me this gift of insercurity , that you think is attitude everytime I roll my eyes when im told I cant go to the bathroom until my bellwork is done . Being 9 years old and already knew more than any other 16 year old teen . Psh _ whatta life huh ! ? Im not lazy . I just know when to run and when to turn and fight . Walking through the house seeing my mom beat , from the one we thought was love .. Weak : worthless ! Where does she have to hide !? ashamed she knows what is coming from in and outta her house . I forgive you daddy ! Whispers the 9 year old inside my head . She screams _ I FORGIVE YOU ! I forgive you because you're my father . I forgive you because I love you , even though you hurt me . But I dont forgive you and you ignorance . Coming unglued : she speacks in low voice , would I ever find my way out ! . Crying out lonely tears , wanting more is just a fear . Everyday she becomes stronger : stronger inside and out . Please daddy - his voice is growing upon . Please teacher - her voice is growing louder ! My words , but why cant it be heard ! ? I am who I am : because you made me stronger ! . Forgiveness ; but always my pain will always be here to stay .
Her Tells ..
May 13, 2010