She feel's so lost so alone.. She feels like she is dreaming.. she feel's like she's still just a little girl just dreaming away...dreaming a life that she doesn't want. the little girl is scared...lost...confused..hurt.. all she wants is her mom and dad. but she cant find them. she is so lost with dreaming, and also with her thoughts getting more confused.. getting more lost in the pain she feels. she don't know where to look.. don't know where to go. she needs help. she wants it. but doesn't know where to turn to. she gets more lost confused. feels even more alone.. so alone in this big world. she turns to hurting herself for years, she hides her pain behind a fake smile and this person she made herself to be. A person she doesn't like. wants to be herself without people being weird about it. she is scared to be herself. so she hides, hides the hurt, the guilt, the everything thats not the fake her. the scars, the rubber band marks, the tears. hides everything from everyone but herself and a few close friends. wishes..just wishes..her life was different. people say change it. if you don't like it.. but thats the thing she try's to but something holds her back and controls my life and says no. its a little voice saying change is bad.. dont know what to listen to.. dont know who to listen to..dont know what to do...or where to run to..wants to be held and she just wants someone to know how and what she feels. just wants someone to understand..she needs someone to know what she is feels. needs someone to understand...she really just needs it. she feels there is no way out from this pain so she keeps hurting herself she keeps the pain going, she just doesn't know what else to do.. doesn't know anything else so she hurts more. and she write's until she cant write anymore. as she writes she thinks about everything...her life...wishes..she was just still a little girl...