Storm

May 22, 2010
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A bright-lit city
Lights already on
Evening, cloudy night
Night floats on like swan.

Raining, pouring now
Quite sudden, vicious
Loud thunder rumbles
The sounds, malicious.

White bright lightning strikes
City lights humbled
By dazzling sky-fire
Leaving folk jumbled.

Inconspicuous,
Gradual, Storm ends
Thunder mumbles away
Goodbye, Storm, my friend.





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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

Egyptiangirl13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 8:39 pm
wow i really like this!!! its really good-very well written and very descriptive!!! please check out some of my work if you get the chance! :)
 
Lance replied...
Jun. 25, 2010 at 9:55 am
Thank you, I certainly will.
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 22, 2010 at 5:31 pm

This is very rhythmic. I am glad that it did not rhyme. It conjured a very strong image of a storm.

I used to be afraid of storms, but not I find them to be very beautiful.

 
Lance replied...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Actually, if you look, it does rhyme at times... :P but thank you anyway.
 
beautifulworld said...
Jun. 22, 2010 at 10:30 am
It's very nice. I liked the rhythm you put to the words
 
Lance replied...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Thank you very much!
 
Shannon_Bananon said...
Jun. 22, 2010 at 7:25 am
I feel as though it contradicts at times, but otherwise good. :D (I'm missing the lack of bees.)
 
Lance replied...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Haha. When does it contradict, for example?
 
Shannon_Bananon replied...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Well, you say it sounds malicious and vicious, but then at the end you say it's your friend. Don't you think those are harsh adjectives to be using on a buddy? I certainly think so.
 
Lance replied...
Jun. 25, 2010 at 9:54 am

Well, gotta tell the truth. :D

 

 
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