ode to a lost soul

May 25, 2008
My sorrow is great ,

As I search the part of me that has been hidden away ,
though the world moves on,

the creature comforts compels me away for when the sun sets in the sky,

giving it’s last blessing before night,

I sigh with sorrow at the lost of my other half

that has been chained down by responsibility ,

drowned in the darkness which many have locked their’s in ,

I may search avidly and be on the edge of my sanity ,
screaming with in , fighting and losing sight of reality,

but then day comes as if hiding all my insecurities,

but as the days fades the bonds that tie me to my

dead soul pull tight ,

and warps my hearts intended choices ,
the air constricts and then I realize I am not a friend or a sister.

I am an outsider looking in on some ones else’s life,

hearing there thoughts and emotions ,
seeking redemption from the crimes I have committed,

while pretending to be some one else,

Can you understand as her coffin is lowered into the grave how my soul aches that we are not one and that,

she must leave while the other lives to strive for a future .
“I am selfish.”

I repeat to my self as the room closes in on me ,

suffocating and leaving no room for mercy ,

though when the door opens and the winds cries out I run into it hoping to soar and never miss a chance in life.

As I sore I come across nations driven to the edge with there polite words and fake mask.

That have finally cracked under the lies and prideful behavior , which falls upon me in a desperate attempt at survival .

They believe I am lesser then her because my other half and soul was buried and the mask I wore has broken .

What was the point death was imminent but, I do not bend under there stares , and I am rejected for it .

Past mistakes allow me to see past the shrouds of betrayal and social compliance ,

idiotic solutions spouted by our parliament ,

As I soar above it all I feel the tug,
but below me they do not understand ,

Nor are they aware of my freedom , or of my sorrow,

Of how there other half has been buried to never rise again and leaves them empty forever walking hallow and alone .

I have suffered for my other is gone she has wasted away .

I watched as she slowly decayed bringing forth the disgusting smell of defeat and weakness. she who was as important to me as breathing “hah.”

I scoff at them , as bodies pile up below the land once lush and bountiful now grows faint till it is just a memory.

I can tell my children about how the mountains where grand , and the valleys beautiful and the sky like a blue gem sparkling above us, and about how the others died so easily but for now ,

I will know my truths, their truths ,and her truths and soar like the mist I am .
No more pain or care and that the mask I wore, becomes dust beneath the next generations feet.

For change comes but will you face it with a true face and mourn the others or bind your self to your shallow beliefs .

Because in the end you never recognize the selfish you and the only thing you can do is not look back and live as you truly are.

For my escape was inevitable, is yours and are we ever truly free ?

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