May 17, 2010
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The edges of my heart are feeling so numb;
For part of it’s been cut out, jagged edges just lurking.
When someone’s dealt you such a blow,
And taken so much from you,
It’s inexplicable as to how you are still standing.
You still feel together, but you know it’s the shock,
Not yet set in.
I fall, with darkness all around.
Once the tears start flowing,
They’ll be unstoppable; the dam’s been broken.
Already, I’m anticipating this pain,
So it’ll be over sooner, because I know it’ll be strong.
Yet still, it’s not yet arrived,
But I still have this.
This pain of anticipation;
This pain of betrayal;
This pain of misleading;
This pain of shame.
You’ve ripped me in half, and it’ s my fault too.
How I let myself fall without a care,
Is not only inexcusable, but just stupid..
Too much hope can make eyes blind,
And my heart was of bad sight to begin with, with my helping with all that I could.
You don’t realize how deeply I felt (and still feel),
Or how much I’ve been hurt.
And I still have to go around with this smile on my face,
Like everything’s okay,
And I’m completely whole.

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