I Am Old Enough Now

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I am old enough now
to pretend there's nothing wrong
to put on a show
to paint a face to your liking
I am old enough now
to ignore the hurt
to wipe away those stupid tears
that used to fall so freely
I am old enough now
but I wish I was young again
to be a child
to be open
vulnerable
When minutes fly
hours run
days flow with no stop
and years don't wait for you to catch your breath
you gain a stealthy pride
It quietly burrows in your heart
as a snake slithers into a rabbit's hole
When life trips in the nail bed instead of the pillows
that quiet pride becomes loud
It closes me up
makes me cold
an iceberg that barely moves
barely makes a sound
No expression
Causes lies instead of honesty
Lying, thinking I am protecting myself
Pride won't let the liquid crystals fall
won't let me speak
won't let me be
won't let me be me
My pride won't let the world see
that I've been damaged
I am hurt, broken
I am old enough now
and as I've grown I've become
the prideful artist
who has mastered painting
that perfect face everyday
I am old enough now
to pretend there is nothing wrong
Everything
is
fine





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