The Organist

April 30, 2010
By Midnight_Hum SILVER, Hearne, Texas
Midnight_Hum SILVER, Hearne, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Who plays the organ at the church at night?
The melancholy tones drifting through the air,
And why does the organist shine so bright?
It's as if, he's not really there.


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This article has 8 comments.


on Oct. 7 2011 at 7:36 pm
Anonymous_7 SILVER, Branson, Missouri
6 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
-The only time you can get away with murder is when writing a book!

This was Awesome! Would you mind checking out my work and comment/rate it? Thanks!

on Aug. 5 2011 at 10:41 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

i agree with karturs i enjoy both long and short pieces but i like when short pieces captivate me great work

on May. 30 2011 at 10:23 pm
krarthurs SILVER, Plymouth, Massachusetts
9 articles 3 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
All generous minds have a horror of what are commonly called "Facts". They are the brute beasts of the intellectual domain.
-Thomas Hobbes

Something about this poem interests me. You really know how to captivate a reader with only four lines. Excellent job. Beautifully written.

on Jul. 6 2010 at 8:28 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

Ah, yes, that does sound much better. Also, I'm glad you replied--many of my criticisms don't receive any recognition...it got so I started to feel that people only wanted me to say, "Great job! Loved it! You couldn't have done better!"

 

Sorry for the mini-rant...I just needed to get if off my chest.


on Jul. 6 2010 at 8:17 am
Midnight_Hum SILVER, Hearne, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 48 comments

I don't usually reply to comments, but you are absolutely right.

"Who plays the organ at the church at night?
The melancholy tones drifting through the air,
And why does the organist shine so bright?
It's almost as if, he's not really there."

This is how I wrote it originally, a notebook at home. When I submitted it to teenink, I submitted it from memory-and that is where I made the mistake.

Thank you for pointing this out...I wish Teenink had some way for you to edit your pieces...


on Jul. 4 2010 at 7:59 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This is beautiful and thought provoking in just a few short lines. Great job.

on Jun. 28 2010 at 11:38 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

Very nice. The only problem is the last line: I might be reading it wrong, but it feels as if the beat is off. 

 

Right now you have it like this: 10 syllables, 11 syllables, 10 syllables, 8 syllables.

 

If you added another two syllables to the last line it would sound much better. For instance (and this is just one option): 

 

Who plays the organ at the church at night?

The melancholy tones drifting through the air,

And why does the organist shine so bright?

It's as if, as if, he's not really there. 

 

That's it. I love the tone and the message and the story :)


on Jun. 26 2010 at 11:29 pm
roxymutt BRONZE, Marietta, Georgia
4 articles 5 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. -David Henry Thoreau

i dont quite know what to say other then this is very good...in a few short lines you not only got your point and idea across but you sparked emotion from the reader and writer as well as the narrator of the story...it makes me ask questions and that's what interests me :D


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