October 11, 2007
The sickening sweet taste of peach slips off my tongue quickly
As it becomes replaced by metallic and crisp water from the tap
Replacing the warm fuzz in my throat
Half leaping off the kitchen stool onto the worn wooden floor
I glide in your old cotton socks, fraying at the ends by my toes hitting the edge of my shoe

To the window, touching its dusty glass warm with summer sun
Leaving my trail of smearing fingertip patterns
As I squint into the blue sky-- blue like your polka dotted bikini blue
To think only one full year ago, you were here
You were here, biting from the same peach that my lips had touched
Do you remember when you were happy?

Big sister, your laugh and the way your eyes lit up filled me with delight
When you took me down to the library and held my hand
Walking down the street, skipping and sweaty
What went wrong; didn’t I make your world okay?
I always wonder what happened that night
Only a few hours before, we had sat on the deck drinking pink lemonade as the sun disappeared
Watching moths crash their tired bodies into the flickering candles

I hardly remember the last time you told me you loved me
You came in the house late, slipping into my bed next to my body
Your hot and sweaty breath clung to my sheets for days
Listening to your breath as you inhaled deep and kissed my groggy cheek
Whispering in the dark to me when you thought I was fast asleep

There’s peaches left in the kitchen that I haven’t eaten yet
They’re overripe, because that’s how I like them now
Their stench is of death and sickly sweet candy
I will always have them as a memory, your favorite food
For I can’t come to grips that you’re really gone

Sometimes I dream you come banging in the screen door calling my name
Or I walk into a room to find you, legs dangling off our scratchy fabric couch
And then I awake to my room, dark with night shadows
And my pillow smells faintly of peaches

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