The force strong and mysterious
Is brewing inside of me.
I thought I could control it
Or at the bare minimum tame it.
I have tried, and turns out,
I can’t…
It overtakes me, consumes me,
And leaves me beaten and weak.
I’m not scared!
I feel powerful
As though I can do anything,
Knowing that I can’t or shouldn’t.
Often pushing the limits,
Seeing how far I can bend without breaking.
My demeanor is changing,
As I become this mysterious stranger
Who is comfortingly familiar
I don’t know her,
But strangely I do.
Her demeaning stare and sassy attitude
All seem safe and dangerous at once.
Have I always known this stranger
I am now becoming?
The stranger that lurks in the darkness
Of my heart,
That keeps me safe,
But prevents me
From feeling, from thinking,
The stranger that haunts and guides me.
Showing more and more of herself
As each day passes.
How could I let this happen?
I was unaware of her strengths
And my weaknesses.
Unconscious of how much I envied
And craved to be more like her,
The darkness of my heart
A character of my imagination,
A person who never existed,
But only existed because she was real.
The stranger of my heart,
The person I am on the inside,
Breaking loose of the chains
And the cage of my mind.
Could I have done anything
To prevent her
From taking control?
My lust and pride,
The power I craved,
She consumed me.
Is this what I am to become?
A servant for the mysterious stranger
From the darkness of my heart.
The person who strives to take control
And is gaining more and more control
As I continue my life.
Part of me wants to give in
And let her control,
But the other wants to fight
As long and hard as possible.
Accepting the beatings
And all the pain,
I stand and fight.
This stranger may be familiar
And may know all there is to know
About me,
But tonight
I am the person I believe I am.
If I do become consumed,
I must accept the changes.
I may not be happy
Until I accept that I must change
To grow and mature fully.
Am I scared of the darkness
That dwells inside of me?
You name a person who isn’t
And then we’ll see.
I am becoming a beautifully,
Dangerous, safe, character
From inside
Of my most inner
Domain.