No strings attached

October 9, 2007
By Hayley Berigan, Alton, IL

Why do these tears keep on falling?

Why do I care so much?
Why does it seem like this feeling has become forbidden?

At the beginning we were just friends…friends with hidden desire.

Till now I have just felt as though I was ok.

You made me feel this rush.This excitement.

Ok with just being your friend, and that a relationship would never occur.

But now I am stuck.

I feel like I have just been used.

Used by someone that was supposed to be one of my best friends.

Supposed to be there.

Do I deserve such a fate… to be alone?

To feel as though I am not worth love?

Not worth anything, as though I am just a good time.

A feeling as though it is my fault and I did this to myself?

I was the one who said it was alright but yet I never knew feelings would come,

Why do I care?

Why did I start to like you after we took it to the next level?

Why not before? Isnt that how its supposed to be?

I am mad at myself now for giving in.

For thinking that if I kept being your “special friend” that you would fall too,

I feel as though I have done something wrong to make me feel this way.

But why did I let you in? Why?

When I knew you were a flirt and had potential to hurt me?

Yet I still do it. I still let you in.

Not only into my body…but most importantly into my mind and heart?

I wish I was brave.

Brave enough to tell you this but yet I cant.

Because I made that pact of no strings attached.

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