October 4, 2007
I reposition the cold steel that’s pressed against my head

I can’t think, I try.

Fresh tears streak down my face


The muzzle moves,
I can’t go back now

I’m numb

Pain is numb
I quietly click off the safety
My mind is blank, yet running 100 miles per hour.
“What will happen to my family?”

My hand starts to tense,
My mind is numb
I look around, the Attic, my final resting place
I slide my finger over the trigger
And my body, run raged by depression
Closes its eyes, and I am numb

All of me is numb

For the last time.

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