I reposition the cold steel that’s pressed against my head

I can’t think, I try.

numb
Fresh tears streak down my face


numb


The muzzle moves,
I can’t go back now


I’m numb

Pain is numb
I quietly click off the safety
My mind is blank, yet running 100 miles per hour.
“What will happen to my family?”


Numb
My hand starts to tense,
My mind is numb
I look around, the Attic, my final resting place
I slide my finger over the trigger
And my body, run raged by depression
Closes its eyes, and I am numb

All of me is numb



For the last time.