I saw forever in your icy eyes

October 1, 2007
I saw forever in your icy eyes
And decided to take a jacket
To ward away winter’s breath
And you saw a feeble woman
Lying helpless in your arms
Trying to coddle the relationship
With a tear-stained blanket and a band-aid
My fingers are bleeding
As I’m slipping off the razorblade edge
Of life.
And the pain is biting beneath my fingernails
Laughing at the agony it’s caused
Your lips are smirking
Like the thick, crescent moon
In the midnight sky
Painting from a palette
Of gloomy blues and grays

I saw lust in your eyes
And decided to bring my lingerie
Hoping to cease the fire
Burning underneath your skin
And you saw a whore
Lying openly in your arms
Trying too desperately to extinguish
The flame of your desire
And your beautiful smile
Is laced in disgust
But you know,
I only did it for you
My ears are bleeding
Because I’m listening to your complaints
Because I’m letting you
Rip my emotions to shreds
As if they were crepe

I saw anxiety in your blue eyes
As you park the car for the night
And make for the door
The scent of someone else’s perfume
Is caught in the late night wind
And all awhile, I’m sitting in the window
Like a prize that you won
And you only see a trophy
Shining dully in the moonlight
But you ignore it
It isn’t worth your time
As you crawl upstairs and sleep in ‘our’ bed
The one we never both sleep in anymore
And there’s long blonde hair
On your jacket and
It isn't mine

I saw your tongue
Trace cherry-flavored lips
Of the blonde girl from down the street
And the tendency to love you
Crumbled with my heart
Into the pit of my stomach
And you saw a clingy girlfriend
Who didn’t provide you with what you needed
Who was trying to save the bond between us
(The one that you just smashed)
The taste of sweat lingered on your tongue
And little did I know,
That her lips were only one of the places
You had been kissing that night
You gave me a violent shove into the darkness
Refusing even a flashlight for me
So I couldn’t find my way back

I saw hate in your hard eyes
And I asked if you still loved me
And there was a long pause
As if you didn’t know what to say
But you saw a broken relationship
That was too broken now to fix
So you shook your head
With a subtle sigh
And kicked me to the curb
In front of my own house…

My eyes are crying acidic tears
Dripping to the asphalt of the streets
Hoping to flood this town
In my rejection
Hoping that when you stepped out that door
Tomorrow morning, you’d drown
Like I felt like doing now

I saw an almost husband
And he saw a two-bit tramp

I guess I need my eyes checked
Because they’ve obviously gone bad

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