Time - The Key to Life

April 9, 2010
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The clock mocks my heartbeat loudly
Moving in rhythm ever so proudly
Thump....tick....thump....tick
Then a spark of something flicks
Something bright, soft and glowing silently
Beauty within showing so violently
Something in my soul I did not pick
Grasping my hear, feeling so sick
Light dimming, heart slowing rapidly
Clock mocking, Mocking so rudely
My heart finally giving a last kick
Tick....thump....tick....tick....tick





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UnderstandMEClearlyNOW said...
May 18, 2010 at 3:36 pm
It would be stronger if you didn't rhyme and then get off rhyme. Pick a rhyme scheme and stick with it. Maybe add some assonance instead of rhyming. Also comment on my work??? :) I like your style (maybe you'll like mine) 
 
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