Saturday Night Realizations

May 21, 2008
You don’t know what you do to me
And maybe if you did, you’d never leave
Your best friend’s house on a Saturday night
To come and watch me cry.

There is a slope in the ground
And it’s everywhere you are.
You don’t notice it, but I do.
It hurts to stare up at you for too long,
But I can’t help it.

You don’t mean to do it;
The chains – the world on my shoulders
The weight that causes my knees to break
My control to shatter,
I collapse whenever you’re around.
I thought this was only a kiss,
Now I have choke in my chest
A tightening of the stomach
Tingling (as when fingertips meet)
Cold ice sliding down my spine.
Numbness. Euphoria.
And then he whispers to me:

“I still love her.”

Like getting hit by a snowball
In a water balloon fight.
(I can’t take her place. I can’t fill that space.)

The more I feel, the more I find
That I am your strength,
You are my weakness,
And that I will always come back to you.

You are the skies
That a girl looks hopelessly upon as she drowns
(Because I did not notice the water rising)
And I will sink in your river for the rest of my life
And you will risk it all
Time after time
To swim upstream and save me.

I will trip over,
Over and over again,
And you will help me to my feet without question.
You never ask what knocks me down,
You say it is none of your business,
But it is your business, darling,
Because it is you I can’t stop falling for.

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