Just to let you know...

January 27, 2010
First thoughts are "no"
But you now ignore that voice,
Telling you to hold on, telling not to let go,
All the while convincing yourself you dont REALLY have a choice

Why set up for disappointment? When it's sure to come
And at the end of the day everything will disappear with the sun.
Yet I can't help but wonder, what would become
If I'd permit myself hold on, not to all but to some.

What a horrible idea! what a sick, masochistic thought.
Nothing could hurt worse, and broken bones hurt a lot!

I tell myself this when the idea takes over my mind.
It tries to sneak in, but always gets caught.
I push the thought back, more and more until it's behind
That failed test from last week, I never got signed.

So far forgotten, that test sits way back in my head
that it hides everything about holding on that's ever been said.

But then I start wondering, and that's where it takes root,
"Why even care at all, I won't let myself remember"
"Sure the memories are happy, maybe even cute,
But hell are they even worth it?" I often dispute.

Everytime my answer is "No"
But for some reason today,
"actually, it is." is all I can say.

Finally It feels right to care, and so I'll let you know,
I've enjoyed every second, though it doesn't always show.





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