You cut and carve, you scab and scar. You laugh you cry but you hate your life: You love and give it your all. Afraid to fall you fear to fail, you give up on heaven and settle for hell; pretenting to care, inside your scared: Feeling proud about the little things you do but giving up on pleasing people they never please you. The useless feeling lingers trembling knees and shaking fingers. You purge and walk away, one less meal, one more day- you find hope under the skin- losing weight is the battle you have to win. Wearing a wash away smile the tears pour dowm the smile smears and the frown underneath it appears. Mom and dad should have knew all the pain they put you through. Never know if it's right to blame them but you wonder how you turned out this way, how did this happen? When did you go wrong? Your innocence quickly fading away. You already let your gaurd down too many times befor, you quit caring if you do it anymore. You crave attention so you,go a little bit more out of your way to make him notice you tried to look good today, striving to turn into the person you will never be. Time to face the truth... this person is me.
The person she could never be.
January 3, 2010