Insanity: repeating identical procedures while expecting different results

So I guess I'm insane
Kinda deranged
The way I waited for you to notice change
But I guess it's harder to see the bigger picture, than the broken frame.

Tried to be on your team & I barely made the cut,
But you didn't think I was attempting to patch up the broken seams,
Seemed like I wasn't trying
But my heart was dying to show you otherwise

I guess you had high expectations
& mine were pretty low for us
As if you were the crack fiend, and I just wasn't dope enough
But I was hoping that I could attain that extra high
& just to clarify, I tried
But that was obviously wasted time
Seeing as I'm sitting alone comforting myself
trying to convince myself that there's no reason to cry.

Yet here I am, trying to see it from your side
Maybe you were told lies
Something or other, just heard through the grapevine
And I can only hope that's what made you make up your mind

But I know, it's what I was dreading
That you lost faith in us
That I made you give patience up
And these are the thoughts that bring days when
I just don't feel like waking up

It's kinda funny, I don't wanna cry
But I don't wanna smile
'Cause either way, my thoughts are confined to only you.
So I'm in the middle, a valley of emotions
And I feel like I'm not living life, but just going through the motions
Just filling in the gaps, because I'm feeling empty, wide open.

It's crazy how I repeat these thoughts in my head
Every minute, every hour.
Just when I think I'm finished you come back to my mind again.

Insanity: repeating identical procedures while expecting different results