I wrote this on Oct. 22 of 2009. My dad had finished AA treatment, and started drinking and getting drunk not long after. It had been months since I had seen him like that, he looked so..vulnerable. And it scared me. I forgot what it was like to have an alcoholic father. It took me a long time before I could get used to it again. I'd hide in my room till morning, and cry all night. My dad became a whole new person when he gave into the bottle again, and not just beer, he loves his Captain and Pepsi. The year before, I fought with my dad all the time, and sometimes a honestly hated him, but then things changed so much and I began not to despise him as much, and I started respecting him again. Then respect grew to like, and before I knew it I loved my daddy again. When he was forbidden from the alcohol, he was clearer, more real. And I got to see who my dad really was. Though his secrets came out more when he was drunk, and I discovered the truths he tried so much to hide. Well I guess I've gotten off track now, but this is what this poem is for. <3 you Daddy..