I have to be honest about the way I feel. I have to stop pretending and start to be real. Im so tired of saying Im alright. When the truth is I cry myself to sleep almost everynight. No one understands the rage and pain I hold inside. The pain is coming out it can no longer hide. These my are true feelings and they are hard for me to show,but the feeling I have the most is the fear of loosing control. So I walk around with this fake smile on my face. I try to think happy and go to a better place. This is the truth and my happiness has come to an end. This is how I really feel I can No longer pretned.
January 15, 2010