Broken Friendship

January 8, 2010
By katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain


Broken Friendship

Do you remember the crayons, pencils, paper, and paste?
Those times together we didn’t waste?
We were always together, never apart.
All of those years are forever in my heart.

Yes, we had fights and small tiffs as we grew.
Somehow I knew our friendship wasn’t yet through.
Of course, we’d find a way to make up in the end.
After all, how could I stay mad at my best friend?

But what happened to all of the secrets and love that we shared?
What happened to that strong friendship that was ever so rare?
I could weep just thinking that we’ve grown apart this way!
I can’t bear the hurt I suffer each day.

I miss you, dear friend, for we hardly speak.
Day after day, week after week.
Every day I see you with your new friends.
How taxing to bear this weight, this jealousy that never ends!

I wish we’d go back to the way things used to be.
However, I know that it can’t be that easy.
I know we’ve changed through all the years that have passed.
“Why? Why must our friendship suffer so?” I ask.

The author's comments:
This piece is about how my friend and I grew apart over the years.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 15 comments.


on Jul. 9 2010 at 8:05 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This was a very well-written poem, nice rhymes, but what really struck me was the subject.  It is very relatable, I've had the same exact experience, and you expressed it perfectly.

We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 15 2010 at 8:41 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.

Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn't have any rings

Wow I really like this I find it kind of sad that things seem to work this way.

katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 12 2010 at 7:15 am
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

lol, Thanks :)

on Jun. 11 2010 at 11:51 pm
jaredwriter19 GOLD, Masontown, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you live to be a hundred, I hope to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
-Winnie the Pooh

Hi Katie! Finally signed up after you told me at Panera lol. Still love the poem!

 


Ridersblock said...
on Jun. 9 2010 at 3:02 pm
Ridersblock, Morehead, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?' -Richard Bach

I can really relate to this.  Makes me so sad.  Great writing though.  Keep it up!

katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 6 2010 at 7:46 pm
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

Oh, that's what I thought, but wasn't sure.  Thanks for explaining.  I'm going to post two of my other poems that are free-verse.  They're a little trite, but, please tell me what you think! Thank you!

katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 6 2010 at 7:45 pm
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

Sure, no problem.  I think I read The Pretty One and commented, but I'll double check to make sure.  I'll read What Happened?, too.  Thanks :)

on Jun. 6 2010 at 7:04 pm
--LoveHappens--, Fairfield, Connecticut
0 articles 0 photos 343 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend is someone who knows you, but loves you anyway"

I love this... I can really connect and I understand and you portrayed it great. Good job. Please take a look at my work. I think you will find that my poem What Happened? is exactly like this... it has the same sad meaning but I would also like to to read The Pretty One. Please leave a comment on both thanks so much!!! Great job

on Jun. 5 2010 at 2:26 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

AA BB CC is your rhyme pattern.  One line rhymes with the one after it, the next line rhymes with the line after that one. Like, "speak, weak...friends, ends...be, easy... passed, ask"

katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 5 2010 at 9:34 am
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

Thank you for your honest reply :) But what do you mean by the AA BB CC thing?

on Jun. 5 2010 at 9:05 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

I love the meaning of the poem.  Everyone has friend breakups, all of which are never easy.  But I have to agree with what people are saying about the rhyme thing.  I like rhyming in a poem, but the AA BB CC thing going on is a little to uniform- rehersed sounding.  Keep the rhyming, but maybe break the uniformity.

katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 4 2010 at 12:20 pm
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

Thanks for the critique and for being so honest.  I understand when you said, "I have a bad reputation for telling people what to do with their writing."  Sometimes I read a story and think, "No, this is how it should go." 

     I'd originally wanted to enter a contest and thought of a different poem that didn't rhyme.  When I asked my mom for her opinion she didn't like the poem.  So then I came up with this one. (It was in geometry class, I was sitting in front of the person who I talk about in this poem.)  Just felt the need to put that in there.  Anyway, after that other "poem gone wrong" I realized it's easier for me to write poems in rhymes rather than free verse.  I don't know why I even wrote a poem in the first place.  I'm much better at stories, but I still have a soft spot for this one because I really miss my friend and when I read this I can think about the good times we had together, instead of the present where we're complete strangers to each other.

     Oh, jeez, now I'm going into sob-story mode, and getting off track.  Sorry! But thanks again for critiquing!


Fayrouz SILVER said...
on Jun. 4 2010 at 12:02 pm
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

i can really relate to this but I don't know why you want it to rhyme. I used to feel the urge to rhyme every poem i wrote, but now I don't. so, my advice is if the rhyme made it harder to put emotion in, keep the rhyme out. try other things like alliterations and metaphors.

 

however, the emotion here is really obvious. now, let me apologize already and say that i have a bad reputation for telling people what to do with their writing! but i think you should have a stronger beginning. the start of it rhymes, but the paste and waste line is a little awkward...it shows youth, which i like, but idk, it's up to you. finally, kick some stronger verbs in here!! you have strong emotion so match it up with strong verbs!

 

keep up the good work. i know you'll definitely improve!


katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 1 2010 at 7:25 pm
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

burnt-toast said...
on Jun. 1 2010 at 6:28 am
this is a great poem, i don't normally go in for rhymes but in this case you still managed to get the emotions through so it was fine. Sad, but true :( but well done, great writing :)


Parkland Book