I'm bringing myself lower than ever. On the outside you see me as strong, but in my heart I'm weak and scared. I protect myself with care but letting the walls crumble down is so easy. I have no way of knowing where this will all lead me. The steps I'm taking can carry me to the deepest pit of hell, or the most glorious place in heaven. I hold my life with care. Here and there people distroy a part of me, with their sweet lies and those perfect eyes. I point my finger to the one standing in the crowd, he's the one that breaks me down most. As I lay alone in the night trying to forget the pain that keeps me up. Does it please him to know I feel this bad? I fight for all the hope I have left in me, somehow he easily takes that away too. I don't know what to do anymore. Fight for the person that makes me smile, the one that keeps me up day and night with my pain. For the one that makes me feel loved and sad all together. How does this love and hate work? The tears are they a sign of my weakness or show how much alive I really am? You seem happy in the arms of your lover. Maybe the glimps of my dreams have vanished all in one piece. Or maybe this girl of yours is nothing more than a faze. My eyes still hold the sight of you, my heart still holds the love I gave to you. My body with yours, the gift I gave to you on that very night. Did it mean anything to you? I should have held my tounge when i repeatedly said "I love you." I suppose I'm no more than a memory to you now, so this is finally my goodbye.
January 7, 2010