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Today is My Stand

What's the point? I don't see one anymore…

Looming over me, breathing down my neck
I feel your presence with me, haunting, like a shadow casted on the wall.

Every step I take I am followed.
Every move I make, I am watched.
My past will never be forgotten.
My life will never cost as much as it's worth.

That sliver blade meets my pulsing veins.
I grit my teeth as that too familiar liquid trickles down my skin, dragging my quandaries with it, leaving my mind vacant
My silent scream is left unanswered, Lost and forgotten in the bone chilling wind.

Pain. The old now, consumed by the new.
Pain. It's the only thing I know.
Pain. I can't escape…

I'm living in true hell. Fire and demons engulf me.
Your picture stares at me….mocks me & my robbed dignity

I hear nothing, I see nothing, I feel nothing.
I am numb.
My body and soul are no longer one, each in its own world.
I drop to my knees lightheaded and weak.

Reality snaps back, all too quickly.
My body reels with its newly found wound
Once again I hear you beside me, whispering in my ear…calling my Godforsaken name.

Another scar for my collection.
Another shame for my days.

Looking in the mirror is pointless when your reflection refuses to look back….

My vulnerability consumes all of my being
Who am I to trust if I can't even trust myself?
Lost in this world of fear!
Lost in a cosmos of hate!
Forever lost in my past.

Although your ruthless heart has knocked me down,
My life is mine to live and my heart is mine to own
I refuse to let this nightmare define who I am.
My scars push me forward, each day I survive my scars continue to subside.
Yesterday is my story. Today is my stand. Tomorrow is my future.




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This article has 1 comment. Post your own!

ShernayB. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 4, 2010 at 3:27 pm:
I could really relate to this piece.
You put it in words that I, myself, could not describe to anyone.
Great job!
Keep writing.
 
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