December 5, 2009
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Unbeknownst to you I came to being
You who knows everything
You who hears all.
I came, surprised everyone
I came, a premonition of the Fall.
I was cripple; you were whole
I had crumpled wings; you had them fold.
You took my only joy away from me
Took all my worldly pleasures
You stole away my life for yours
Stole away all my hard earned treasures
You took away my sky
Took away my moon
Left me to die
Took away my safe cocoon
You promised love and a life together
You just wanted my wings, to soar.
Instead, to the ground you had me tethered
I can’t be with you anymore.
I took you one moonless night
Took you on an endless flight
We soared past the stars and the moon
You left me and my feathers strewn.
I am the warning
I am the premonition
Finally I am hunting
Completing your damnation
So watch for me and listen
Learn how to save yourself
Just remember what you did to me
When you denied my birth
For you left me after I embraced immortality
While you were ruled for a life on Earth
I did it all for you, my Vampire friend
Then as I started to scream
You left me, began to blend
You left me in an endless nightmarish dream.
I am the cold hand of Premonition
The fist clutched around your heart
You should have seen with your intuition
That it would do you no good to tear me apart.
Listen to me before you ranting rages
Here’s how to save your life
Love me, erase blame from your pages
Take me again as your wife
Let me mingle my feathers with your leather wings
And we will have a happy eternity
Keep me from saying these hurtful things
And you will stay living and happy.
Make this your hope, your life, your mission
Or you will finally reach your last breath
But don’t blame me, for I am only the Premonition
The warning, the bringer, the causer of your death.

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Nick-M said...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 3:45 pm
You were right! I do love the rewrite. I don't know why but whatever you changed in the rewrite seemed to make it better. Again, I can't explain it but I think its a beautiful piece and, in my opinion, should be in the MAG. :)
Nicovera replied...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Thank you again, Nick! Your comments are always insightful; I love reading them! and I am glad you liked the rewrite; I didn't know if it was as good as the first
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