It's hard to live this way. You don't understand how hard it is to live with you. You say you understand, say you've been through everything. But have you? Can you truly and honestly say that you know what is going on with me? Every new day in my life is another enemy trying to win me over. Another battle to fight. I can never be sure I’ll win. It’s hard to win a fight when you’re the only one fighting against so many. You don’t understand how the way you people treat me drives me insane. Insanity. I’m on the brink on insanity and suicide. All I’ve ever wanted from you was love. I just wanted for you to love me. I just wanted for you to care for me. But that wasn’t what I got. I reach out for you but you pull back. I run after you but you run in the opposite direction. You leave me to fend for myself. You leave me out on the battlefield alone. No weapons, no shields, no HELP! I fight alone. I wound myself, but I wound others more. I fight through it on my own. I don’t need you. I don’t want you. I didn’t need you before, I don’t need you now. I can handle this by myself. I can win on my own.
Fighting a Lonely Battle!
December 9, 2009