roller coaster

Deeply depressed I lay in my bed
Thoughts of suicide run through my head
Life is a bitch I’d rather be dead
I feel like grabbing a pistol
And filling my mental with lead
No one can intervene
Not even God can save me
But if there is a God
Tell me why does he hate me
Why couldn’t he foreworn me like Jesus or Moses
Let me know my life would be a roller coaster
With all the ups and downs
Moving around across Jersey
I prayed to him night after night
I know he heard me
So where is my warning
Am I not worthy
Have I sinned too much
Are my thoughts too dirty
With that being said
I have a confession to make
I don’t believe in God or Jesus
I don’t even have faith
No dis to God
But if he has a problem
He can tell me at my wake
I don’t know
I’m just a confused soul
Please don’t judge me
By the stupid statements I make