Irredeemable This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

That son left when harvest time came.
Abandoned his own flesh and blood
For an easier path which he sought,
And the pain his father endures alone.

That selfish son with shaking hands
And cautious watching eyes yet blind,
Stumbles and falls upon each pebble.
Already the guilt has bored down deep.

That ignorant son wretched with guilt
Promised his soon return but
Leisure engulfed and tainted his being
And robbed that fool of his honor.

That weak son deserves the worst
Words and stones could possibly inflict.
Cry, boy, cry! Cry for your sins!
Cry for the father you’ve abandoned!

Oh you cowardly son of your father.
Why have you condemned yourself to this?
Why have you crushed this fragile soul?
Atone for you sins!

Howled the wind.





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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 7:26 pm
What a touching piece; forgive me if I misinterpret it, but it seemed to be the tale of a son who blames himself for the death of his father. It captures magically the desperate and beautiful essence of grief.
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 7:29 pm
I'm so sorry for your loss. Forgive me for this cliche, but death is but another step of a long and wonderful journey.
 
chrisbriones replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 2:05 am

No such thing as a misinterpretation. but my intention was not quite blames himself for his death, more of bears tremendous guilt for not being there when it happened-- for selfish reasons.

Guilt and hope for self-demise, but not self pity.

Thank you.

 
celloizmylife said...
Mar. 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Wow, this was really cool. I thought it could do without the last line though. Was this poem really based on your life? If so, I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
 
chrisbriones replied...
Mar. 19, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Yes. I seek to express myself, my life, through words in a pristine manner. This is indeed my life.
The last line, or as intended at least, was to give a sense of continuity. A consistency which, all throughout, has and will remain passive.
Thank you very much. I appreciate it infinitely.
 
xXsmileXx This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 15, 2009 at 7:47 pm
You know, not many poems on this web site inspire me to comment. But I love this. I love the way you speak; you left my jaw hanging wide open. Can i officially be your #1 fan? haha I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!! WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really can't tell you how amazing this is.
-jess (xXsmileXx)
 
chrisbriones replied...
Dec. 15, 2009 at 10:56 pm
wow. all i can say is thank you. thank you for seeing greatness in this piece of art, or so i like to believe it is.
i only have one other poem submitted thats still awaiting approval. but please read it when its available.
thank you once again. youre a real boost to my confidence.
 
xXsmileXx This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 16, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Well just to letcha know, your comment on my poem was a confidence booster too. So thx. And i will definetly read your newest poem when it's up.
 
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