Do my ears deceive me
Or has a catastrophe
Befallen my legacy?
Some "comic," or, to more aptly describe him,
I would choose the synonym
Revolting, unfunny jerk,
For he delivers my beloved rhymes with a perverted quirk.
He has tarnished the reputation of my endeared Jill,
And made her into something below the station of swill.
He has transformed my dear Peter
Into anything but the pumpkin-eater.
Oh, the effort I put into those rhymes
Which he now makes into crimes.
But this corruption I shall not bemoan
For my descendants have the copyright to prove they are my own.
Thanks to an act of Congress,
They can make him penniless.
It's true what they say,
Every goose does have her day.
See you in court, Mr. Clay.
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.


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