If Only

   If only I

could unclench my fist

and once again feel the warmth

of a bright setting sun,

the sky glowing with hot reds,

pinks, oranges,
as the cool cover


of night
sweeps in.

If only I could trace the edges and

the smoothness with my fingers

of a loving smile


lifted at the corners

by slender butterfly wings.

If only I could unclasp my fingers and

grasp fistfuls of clear rain

and

frigid snowflakes,

absorbing the world's bitterness,

catching crystalline tears.

If only I

could thaw my fingers

in the heat of a fiery spirit



and scorch my palms

in the flame of love.

If only I

could breathe life into my hand

and retrieve the lost key

to unlock my confining door


and once again bask

in the sunshine of smiles.

But I sit here gazing with earnest eyes

trying in vain to unclench

my frozen knuckles

in hopes of retrieving



the thrown away key

sure that someday my time will come.


But in the darkness lie my heart's desire

immaterialized illusions.........


if only.