Faith Undying

October 9, 2009
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You started off as a song, a little breeze in the ear
I didn't recognize the beginning of caring
But you pushed forward, you stuck with me here
Your fervor unending, unexpectedly daring

I closed you out, not thinking you cared
as much as the others claimed you did
but you kept pushing, you were not scared,
and made your, final, bravest bid

So as time passed on, I let your voice in
and my feelings surged to meet your own
my happiness grew, again and again,
and I knew, through you, I was never alone

We laughed and we talked, living life day by day,
Experiences growing, as we kept on learning
about each other, and I'm glad to say
my feelings for you, set my heart straight to burning

oh burning, yes burning, with a passionate flame
for I knew you would never betray me
my eyes just sparkled when I thought of your name
my defenses were gone, i was free

every day, every day, i longed to see you
as I sat in my room so late at night
when the morning came, I knew just what to do
and walked through the door to the light

the light, it was you, a radiant glow
that wanted me to bask in it's light
I was pulled to my feet, almost forced to go
to you where the stars were so bright

and time went on, I was so happy,
and I hope that you were too...
but the end of the year, although I know this sounds sappy
made me cry at losing you

the distance, however, only made us stronger,
and we talked and talked straight on through the night
five hours, six hours, sometimes even longer
to see one another, we would always fight

and then the day came when I saw you again,
as you came down with your family that day
we made it official, that day in the home
I cannot express my happiness that day

I soon came to see you! a reverse from the start,
and your house i enjoyed in the end
but the real reason, i know, i was so glad in my heart,
was because I could hold you again

but soon after that, a new distance arose...
one not measured in miles...
I don't know how this new song goes,
but it wasn't full of smiles

you stood up and you ran, but not to me
and realized my one biggest fright
the light was taken from my world,
now plunged into perpetual night

I sat and I cried in my bed after that,
and I only wish you could know
how badly it hurt, how much I was sad
after sitting and watching you go...

but I promised, I know, we would always be friends,
and I mean that to be true
and I pushed, and I pushed, straight through the bends,
not knowing what I soon would do...

I cried and I cried, and I fought and I fought
to save my dearest friend
I valued you above all else I had bought
all others, until the end

If I'm not your friend, i cannot be there
to protect you when you need it most
I cannot hold you, or cheer you, or know when you're scared,
and that is what scares me the most

I've done what I've done... I can't take it back
I didn't mean to make your life harder...
but you chipped at my faith, and I cut you no slack
it caused us unbelievable ardor...

I did it for me, I know I did,
or at least thats how it ended
I didn't start that way, I will not kid..
It was for you that I wanted us mended

but after all that, I finally broke
and cursed all that I had done...
I was too selfish, too blinded by smoke
from the war I had started for one

It started for us, ended up just for me
because of the things that you said
I didn't realize how hard your life could be
because I didn't care what I read

I was mad, I admit it, although I am shamed
from the way that I have acted...
but when you said that our value you claimed
was not that much to you... i really just overreacted

not worth the fight, not worth the effort
I was worth nothing at all...
our friendship, that indestructible fort
was brought down by just one squall

reduced to fighting for what I want
and thought that you might too...
you broke me, you did, with your horrible taunt
as much truth as it was, I knew....

I thought that I knew, and yet i did not..
I thought that we were worth more...
but in the end, passion burning hot
was brought down by the ice on the floor

I sat and I raged, and as I raged, cried
and I felt like I was dying
it felt like you had done nothing but lied
not caring how hard i was trying

But then, something changed, i looked at your life
and saw what I had caused...
another problem in a confusing strife
that I had done nothing to stop

I promised I would always be there,
and that's what I was fighting for...
but I wasn't, I know, and I for now I'll swear
to help just a little bit more

even if it's by not being there,
and leaving you for now...
even if it's by stepping away from there,
and seeming to break my vows...

As far away as I'll get, you should know
I will not quit, not on you, not ever
My way of helping is just to go,
and I hope it's no futile endeavor

I just want to see you happy,
whether I'm there or not
although it kills me to leave you alone...
I hope it is not all for naught

Even though it scares me to know you will go on
without me as a part of your life...
it hurts me more to think that you won't
because I'm causing you pain, like a knife

maybe one day we'll meet again..
and maybe then we'll laugh
just like in the days when we used to reign
as a king and a queen without wrath

until that day, I'll let you live on
and give you room to breathe
until that day, live for yourself
and know that no longer I seethe...

What's woken in me is nothing new
and I no longer feel like I am dying...
This is my truth, only fighting for you
What's woken in me is Faith Undying.

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