She wonders why
she cannot cry.
The only tears she has cried
are the red ones that she has caused herself
from the cuts that she made,
to let flow out the anger
that she's been holding in
from the very first day
everything started to go wrong.
Her life sucks in every way
and she dissolves down in tears she forces away.
Her arm is full of scars
from each time she sits out under the stars with her blade.
Releasing the anger but filling up with sin & blame.
Feeling better but somehow worse,
she throws her blade down to the blood covered earth,
knowing she'll want it back,
she picks it up and throws it into a sack full of rocks
to weigh it down into the bottom of the lake she turns to face.
She abandoned her blade at the bottom of the lake
as she walks away from her past
and into her future.