I'm a little bit warped.

I come with my wrapper already off and I've got

warning labels down my back.

I've been broken and mangled by the

postal system and you won't

believe what they do to your mail.



I'm no bargain basement deal, Mister,

my warranty ran out before I left home.

Be sure sure you wanna keep me before you take me

off that shelf,

This garbage feels alright when not alone.



I haven't had my shots.

I'm damaged goods and I don't come with no

money-back guarantee.

I'm a tape that hasn't been rewound and

nobody really wants to bother anymore.

All my screws are falling out, my engine's shot and you

can't see out any of the

windows.



I'm the one chocolate chip cookie

that burnt on the bottom.

I'm the fixer-upper house,

lightly rotting inside.

And though my clothes say all-natural, no preservatives,

the wrapper is suspiciously shiny.

But will you, Mr. Consumer, will you buy it?



I'm no bargain basement deal, Mister,

My warranty ran out before I left home.

Be sure sure you wanna keep me before you take me off that shelf,

This garbage feels alright when not alone.