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When the Darkness Comes

The darkness surrounds me and persuades me,
trying to swallow me whole.
Its' eyes and face is iced over,
and its' heart is blacker than coal.

The beating of my steady heart
tries to save me from my doom.
But inside of me I helplessly plead
that this will all end soon.

The shadows creep up upon me,
and turn the light away
The flowers and the sun
won’t be returning today.

So when the darkness covers me
and the time on the clock ticks dry,
I’ll surrender myself to the ground
and let my soul ascend to the sky.




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This article has 27 comments. Post your own!

Bookwormwriter said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 9:11 pm:

to any and all who see this, please read, comment and rate my work!  no one seems to want to comment on it.  :( thanks!

OMG HOW ARE YOU COMING UP WITH ALL THESE AMAZING AWESOME MIND-BLOWING POEMS!  JUST STOP!  your going to make me go crazy with all this jealousy that im not this good!

 
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greg9381 said...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 6:27 pm:
interesting! The way you describe the darkness, it sounds creepy. Don't worry about doom and soon not rhyming, (someone mentioned that in another comment) slant rhymes add flavor! (not like...taste, but interest). And thanks for your comment on my poema
 
greg9381 replied...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 6:28 pm :
*poem sorry
 
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Ink4Blood said...
Jul. 10, 2010 at 8:45 pm:
You continue to amaze me! Incredible keep on going! :)
 
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Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 11, 2010 at 4:38 pm:
"the flowers and the sun wont be returning today"-well how about that......5 stars captain. ch-ching.
 
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HeronHero said...
May 11, 2010 at 3:22 pm:
You never fail to amaze me!Great job, yet again!:)
 
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--LoveHappens-- said...
May 11, 2010 at 3:18 pm:
wow I really liked this is was truly powerful and full of strong words and emotions. Great job. Please Please Please read my story called The Pretty One and leave a comment thanks!!!!!!
 
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Chibbie said...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 3:57 pm:

this is quiet wonderful please look at mine and tell me how you feel for it would be great to find out how you feel about it

 

 
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lunaEccentric said...
Mar. 28, 2010 at 6:53 pm:
I read your comment after I read the poem and I guessed it must have been written after something like that. I never would have guessed you wrote it in 5 minutes, amazing as usual!
 
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munkyman95 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 20, 2010 at 6:09 am:
Wow this is really good too, you're an amazing poet, to me you're better than a lot of professionals this gave really vivid emotion and made you feel as trapped as the writer
 
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vickilovesu0227 said...
Feb. 17, 2010 at 10:08 am:
Wow! I can say the same for you. You put so much emotion into your work. I think that you should send some work to a publishing company.
 
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writeoutloud said...
Feb. 15, 2010 at 3:15 pm:
this is very well written. i like the imagery of a clock ticking dry as well as flowers and sunlight vanishing to be replaced by a blanket of darkness. its dripping with emotion; raw. i like it a lot.
 
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***Rain*** said...
Jan. 23, 2010 at 4:08 pm:
When you say the darkness, it made me think of some kind of monster. This is an excellent peice to be written in five minutes.
 
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Bliss said...
Dec. 31, 2009 at 4:32 pm:
I really like this. Its very deep! Goood poetry.
 
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hxcRocker said...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 4:18 am:
This poem is great. It really conveys the fear and darkness in everyone's heart
 
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keikori said...
Nov. 27, 2009 at 7:47 pm:
This is wonderful, very well written, and very emotional
 
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sarahxinsane921 said...
Oct. 28, 2009 at 5:24 pm:
I Really Like This Poem.
Its Soo Well Wriiten, Its Inspiring.
Keep Writing.
 
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justjessie said...
Oct. 24, 2009 at 7:17 pm:
very good, i like the last line, descriptive and clear peice. great work
 
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AlextheKat27 said...
Oct. 19, 2009 at 8:57 pm:
Hey thanks for the comment! :) I've been checking out your work and this one is my favorite, I love that last stanza, beautiful.
 
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gothpromking said...
Oct. 8, 2009 at 6:30 am:
Nice poem. God job at ryhming and making sense when doing so.
 
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