Anxiety Attack MAG

August 27, 2009
By Sara Beg SILVER, Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey
Sara Beg SILVER, Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Peacocks somersault in my stomach
Their beaks pecking painfully at my abdomen
One, Two, Three, Four, Five
I count each breath I take

If I don't calm down
My breakfast will come back up
And Dad won't appreciate that
Especially in his new Toyota Camry

Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten
I'm actually hyperventilating
Never should have joked about it
Now I seriously can't breathe

My stomach's not just gurgling
Those sounds have got to be gibberish
Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen
I'm trying but I can't ignore it

Peacocks somersaulting
Beaks pecking
Lungs failing
Make it stop!



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This article has 7 comments.


on Sep. 18 2011 at 8:32 pm
Lola_Black GOLD, Harrison, Michigan
11 articles 2 photos 276 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've always been famous. It's just everybody's just now finding out." --Lady Gaga

Sweet! I love how you use peacocks instead of butterflies. It actually makes alot more sense. The wording was cool, too! Once I got a glimpse I had to read the rest! Five stars ; )

on Sep. 18 2011 at 11:39 am
bass_rockrgrl13 PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
21 articles 0 photos 73 comments
The use of the peacock as a symbol was a really unique touch.

EdytD SILVER said...
on Sep. 7 2009 at 9:24 am
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
I think this is really great, and your strong imagery makes the reader be able to picture, and almost feel, the anxiety. I agree w/ Lily B, however, and I think that it sounds a bit prose-like. I liked the way your last paragraph was short ideas, rather than full sentences, and I think that it described the anxiety effectively without using extra words.

Good job!

on Sep. 6 2009 at 5:30 pm
costarican93 GOLD, Washington, Louisiana
14 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The city looks so pretty do you want to burn it with me?"- Hollywood Undead

My friend would always have panic attacks in class. It was like i was the only one who would notice when something went wrong. and when they did the teachers would not let me help becasue of course they think they know more. but n-e way i loved the way you described this. it really made me understand what is going on when someone is havin a panic attack.

on Sep. 6 2009 at 4:53 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

Wow. This piece is intense. I love it!

on Sep. 3 2009 at 5:34 pm
Ms.Understood, Laramie, Wyoming
0 articles 0 photos 82 comments
OUCH! that sounds painfull. LOL. i know nothing about anxiety attacks. i couldn't get better details from someone else. i learned something new today!

on Sep. 3 2009 at 5:31 pm
.xCutMyLifeIntoPiecesx. PLATINUM, Longmont, Colorado
35 articles 0 photos 82 comments
I actually have anxiety attacks myself, and I think this is a very accurate description. However, you might try being descriptive without using full sentences. It's the little phrases that are really powerful.


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